McCorpus Vile

The final post

It started nearly 200 days ago, well 199 infact. I bought a burger from a well known burger place, plonked it on my desk, and started documenting it's demise, or so I thought. Here's what it looked like on day 1 ...day 100... day 101...102...103 etc.

It still smells the same......the only change is that it has turned into a fossil. The bread is rock hard, and the burger itself could be thrown in the manner of a chakram (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chakram, wonder what Xina would make of it)?

For its 100th day I held a birthday party, which was a bit tragic I know, but it felt right to do at the time. I then ignored it, and the fact that I had eaten burgers like this before.

199 days later and its still alive, no mold, just a fantastic fossil of a burger. So what to do?
I've decided that McCorpus Vile will have it's last post as such. I'm going to send McCorpusVile to either the Smithsonian Institute (or the Melbourne Museum, I haven't made my mind up yet.....postage costs might sway me). That said, 'Dear Smithsonian Institute' has a certain panache..........

So, here's the letter I've composed.........feedback welcome.

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Dear Smithsonian Institute

Please find my latest artifact that was excavated at a recent dig in the sacred (and secret) land of Suburbacus_Sillicus. I’ve labeled the particular specimen 'McCorpus Vile' which was found near my previous find ‘Goldicus Archicus’ (golden shaped arches).
Let it be sufficient to say at this point in time that the exact location of the excavation, stratigraphic layer in which the artifacts were found; nor cardinal directions can be divulged. I do not want to promote looting due to the pending excitement of such a precious find. That said, it is safe to say it was found near a highway similar to my other such archeological digs.
Curiously McCorpus Vile was found on the same layer as previously excavated Goldicus Archicus. Both specimens I consider to be of great value. The Goldicus Archicus has not been sent with said McCorpus Vile due to the cultural importance of the artifact, and the price of postage. I expect the excavation site could infact be considered a burial mound for the God Ronaldicus McDonicus[1], whose elusive remains are yet to be found. That said, remnants of a yellow and white foot stocking were found at layer 7 of said dig.

It is safe to say that both Goldicus Archicus and McCorpus Vile are indeed a cultural diffusion, with similar mounds found through out the world. What makes this find special is the condition of McCorpus Vile: the bread, pickles sauce and onion are in perfect condition, as is the meat patty, said to be 100 percent Australian beef.

The burial mound itself is a wonder to hold upon the eye, due to the nature of both the McCorpus Vile and Goldicus Archicus. One can only speculate that the McCorpus Vile is in fact a [2]banner stone and Goldicus Archicus the [3]alt-alt. Some fellow archaeologists have pondered that it is possible that the two white rock like mounds could in fact be mano and metate,[4]but considering the smooth nature of both, this is unlikely.

It would give me great satisfaction for you to exhibit this artifact at the Smithsonian Institute, am available for consultation should you require guidance classifying this important find, and I'm keen to discuss the potential sponsoring of further excavation of said secret site.

Until then, stay golden.

[1] Up until now the existence of this God has been one of myth, but said find of foot stockings tends to turn even the most hardened of non believers face towards the golden glow of the arches.

[2] A stone that was attached to an atl-atl in order to make it a more effective weapon by adding weight and balance


[3] A bone or wood shaft implement, held in one hand, and used to propel a spear. The tool functions as a lever, giving greater thrust and distance to the spear or dart being thrown. One must wonder what in fact is the spear in this mix. Tentative findings have indicated that this could be a artifact called a nugget, but at this point in time, this is pure speculation.

4 Stone implements used for grinding nuts, seeds, and other foodstuffs

Update: Monday 28 July

It's a dark day, as I've done my research, and I can not send meat to America.

http://www1.auspost.com.au/international/index.asp?action=intlookup&sub=1

Techinically I know that the burger is not really meat, it's just chemicals, but I don't want to risk the life of McCorpus Vile. So I'll send through the letter via email, with pictures. Certainly doesn't feel as satisfying as posting the sucker!